So how do you feel about that last video.
I do appreciate that.
I don't quite a lot on you.
I.
This is quite a complex and big idea.
If you've never heard this presented to you before it may be the case that you have done in which I
may just have presented a slightly alternate point viewpoint our first looking at this inside out way
of living life as life as it lived from the West Side end.
Life is always lived from the inside out and the quality of our lives will always be determined by just
how well we learn to play that inner game saw what I'm hoping to offer you in this video is a strategy
for learning and beginning to play this game very very well because if we want to coach other people
we have got to be leading by example.
We've got to be mastering this stuff first and foremost.
So what's a vicious cycle.
What a vicious circle.
How on earth could we even begin again so hawk to help someone else.
Bost oath and break free from this.
I mean if you've ever heard the term personal breakthrough and many LP practitioners offer personal
breakthrough sessions as one of their core offerings.
And what I would like to do here is just three year the breakthrough strategy which actually doesn't
have to take any longer than a couple of more minutes to help someone accomplish their own.
Help someone else achieve them it may be the case that you've got a problem in your life right now you
might want to apply this to value one life.
Then ask for new.
The example I gave was there was a Mern in your room who's giving you in sources calling you names he's
saying What's nasty stuff here.
And so what I mention is that you kind of have the choice wouldn't you.
You have a choice.
Free will is your free will as to whether you choose to focus on what he's saying or whether you don't
know if you choose to focus on the insults that are coming your way naturally then don't go want to
feel pretty bad about yourself.
If you buy into and fundamentally agree with what it is that he's seeing you with me you catch in what
I'm took in saw this strategy for ending in completely self control is that yes we must become the master
of our thoughts because I don't know about you but if I'm going to be completely honest with you here
there is some upsala garbage goes through my head.
I couldn't even begin to imagine how many abstract thoughts pop through my mind every single day.
Some of them are good.
Some of them are helpful some of them are whole some.
Some of them are perverted some of them are SEK know what I could say I could beat myself up soon.
I have all these thoughts therefore I'm a bad person.
Let's just look at things from a slightly different angle here.
We have the choice as to whether we choose to acts on or destructive thoughts on negative thoughts or
selfish thoughts or whether we don't.
For example I'm going to be completely honest with you here and I don't know how this is going to sit
with you but all I'm really going to do my best to do is hopefully illustrate to you how it is that
I exercise self control and this is going to sound hard for some people.
Although I am sorry to Current my wife we've been married for almost four years and I love her.
She's my best friend.
We worked together where were best buddy.
And all these sorts of things.
But see if I was walking through the city the big city I could be walking next to my wife holding hands
who are deep in conversation and I was to see a really physically attractive woman on the corner of
my eye.
Good catch me off guard.
Could completely catch me off guard and me being me.
I would more likely look.
Right.
For a moment no that that look wasn't intentional.
I didn't mean to look it just kind of an automatic reaction if you like but know that I've taken action.
I can respond to myself I can I can I can actually respond to the action that I've just taken because
what I do know is I have a choice I can either continue to keep on looking or a Kindle look away.
You see it sometimes in life we fall into holes that we didn't intend to fall into.
But if we stay then when we're able to get ourselves out than were fools around what I'm saying is sometimes
life will throw us some fast bowlers around.
Sometimes I will catch myself looking at members of the opposite sex when I'm in love with my wife.
No I'm an imperfect man.
All right.
I could see it.
Yes.
I never looked at any other women but any man who ever says I as an absolute liar because were all imperfect
and we all have this thing called Lost inside of us and I don't care what anyone says if he says he
does not have a lost enemy at some points.
I'm going to call him a liar to his face because this is true.
What I'm saying here is that sometimes the emotions and feelings can springiness they can cut us off
guard.
But if we understand the extent of the choices that we have in relation to how it is that we choose
to respond or react to the thoughts that we have and then bear in mind the thought of just for this
example attractive woman is walking down the street or right I kerger Either I see her at the corner
of my eye I think to myself she's attractive.
No I wasn't that I was thinking about thinking to look for someone as attractive.
That's just one of these spur of the moment things are whuppin and a few oh about I can actually use
my feelings.
No is a guide to draw me out of the thought.
Doesn't have to stay focussed on that thing.
So no.
Okay right.
I don't want to look at that person because of my wife and I want to preserve the trust in the relationship
and the last thing that I would want to do is bring anything damaging into the context of the marriage
with my wife.
I'm just being honest here.
So what I'm saying is that sometimes we would do things that we didn't mean to do that we don't want
to do.
But if we keep on doing then once we've started down a certain path knowing what it is we're doing.
Will were fools.
We've just gone from doing something unintentionally sporadically to intentionally and with purpose
and that becomes a question of motives or motives.
We're going to be looking at all of this later on in the course as well.
I do appreciate this video might be a little bit controversial.
I don't know where it is going to be sitting with yet.
But this isn't just one of these conventional life coaching courses where I'm going to share with you
a we love life and some other garbage exercises.
You could have taken from a text book or you could have found an Instagram or something like that.
What we're talking about here is the control that we fundamentally have all what our thoughts are.
Because what I consider all of the time.
Is is this whilst I'm not always in control of the thoughts that pop into my head on a lot.
Think about it.
When was the last time that you controlled one thought popping into your head.
Now you can see all of the time.
I'm going to say really.
Are you in control of all the thoughts that pop into your head all of the time even the bad ones.
You know when you're poor you beat yourself up and you put yourself down or are your thoughts popping
into your mind from somewhere else.
That's kind of by the by that's as one of these life's been all light fluffy mysteries.
But what I'm saying is you can't control the thoughts popping into our heads.
We can control the ones that we choose to focus on and the ones that we choose to dismiss because if
a thought pops into your head that is neither helpful or violet then validate it and don't focus on
it.
This takes time.
It's not an easy process.
This is this is earned surely the first stage that we can take toward developing self control.
I mean why is it do you think that the prisons are bursting at the seams all around the world today
in the UK waiting lists of young guys especially to get in prison.
Why.
Because young men have not yet learned how to no to master and control their emotions.
Guys feel angry.
Guys see this.
Gail looked at me in a certain way that guy looked at me in that way.
He said this he made me feel like that.
Then he acts out.
React.
They end up being someone up or injuring someone or are attacking somewhere or killing someone or raping
someone.
So if you ask many of these guys in a work with a couple of guys in prison many of the guys are deeply
deeply resentful of themselves for the powers that they have played in the crimes that they've committed.
Because if you ask the jury that you set so that they are planning to beat that guy up or rape again
or take part in this volgograd to seek it then it just Kaner heart.
And I just I just felt like I lost control.
So what I'm talking about looking at the attractive young lady walking past.
Right I can have that instantaneous lost control with this catches me off guard.
But as soon as I'm aware of this lost control or regain control by establishing what's true and this
is how we take control of our thoughts by becoming students of truth establish and what's true.
The truth is do I want to look at that member of the opposite sex.
Do I.
Do I want to have.
Do I.
Do I want to do anything that's going to potentially damage my marriage or the trust that mean my wife
has developed over years and the answer is No.
So then therefore act accordingly.
No this is something that isn't taught in school.
It's not taught in the psychological textbook.
You're not going to get this no life coaching manual.
This is about taking complete personal responsibility which if you can understand the context of your
life well you're then going to be able to influence other people through your coaching because most
of the problems that people have and that they're going to bring to you with are circumstantial.
There's situational.
What I'm seeing here.
I know what I'm hoping you're able to see is that life is lived from the inside out which means that
it's not the things side of us that are the problems it's actually our internal processes whom we don't
understand ourselves because if we understand there were selves then we understand the part that we
play in the workings of our very own lives.
So how we become experts off this is by becoming students of truth through policing or our thoughts
with thoughts pop into our mind that are not file it we do not file today though.
We don't focus on the in on our helpful thoughts if if we start feeling a certain emotion that we don't
want to feel that's because we're focussed on a thought that wasn't helpful for us.
So we use our emotions as nothing more than a mere guide to backtrack to trace back to the thoughts
that we've heard.
We'll call this emotional back tracking collar.
You want a once with the start blushed.
What I thought was that initially got our attention but nine times out of 10 is going to get our attention.
We're going to be completely unaware of us just catches us off guard.
We then go back to that initial thoughts and then we critique it and establish what's true might be
the case.
Someone calls you an idiot sole cause you stupid.
So you could accept that right away and then you feel or if you are you will useless if you were terrible
low self-esteem.
See I ask the question why.
Why am I feeling like this.
You work your way back.
Right.
That guy said this to me.
That guy said that I bought into that blast not true.
I'm not stupid I'm not worthless i'm not use less.
None of these things that's what's true.
Which means I'm going to react to that thought but to hide them there are rejecter and then I'm going
to carry on with my day.
This is the best way that I can illustrate taking responsibility for our lives.
And I know it kind of starts horn.
This is all about getting your own homes in order.
Once we've got our own house in order then going to be able to more effectively help other people to
build theirs.
So this is a little bit of an abstract thing you are.
I do appreciate it but I'm doing my best here to be as honest with you as I possibly can.
Yeah you can judge me if you want.
I'm an imperfect man and if you're a perfect person then please get in touch and teach me how to be
so perfect.
But if you're not perfect then let's extend each other a level of grace and see if we can understand
each other.
Will appreciate I may not be able to understand you because I'm not watching you right now but you are
watching me sort of take my honesty take my truth and apply it to your life to see if you can make any
connections if you can connect the dots and just understand yourself and your internal processes on
a far deeper level.
Because I promise you if you really nail this and the quality and the calibre of your life coaching
is going to go on to become leaps and bounds ahead of all the rest of your future competition so of
touch to that additional materials section of this video we've attached a mini workbook.
And this is all about help for one unhelpful thought patterns.
All right.
To help you identify the thoughts that can sometimes catch us off guard because if we are aware of what
it is to look for then we're going to begin to find ourselves getting I'm not quite as often as what
would perhaps once dead so take five to 10 minutes work through the one.
But forward thorazine again then the next collapse.